drake.

my new babe....i know i'm late, but i love it.

<3 musiq

pray?....pray.

how did i feel? indescribable. couldn't lose her...that would have been a travesty. more than one. it sat on my spirit allllll day. racked my brain. all i can do is pray. i mean it really is a lot but it doesn't seem that way. i don't want her to hurt like that, but why? sometimes God is working something out that no one can explain? who am i to intervene? i felt superhuman for 2 seconds. but reality is, i'm not. i'm me. but i was given the power to love. to nourish. to pray.....to pray. the prayers of a righteous man availith much. am i righteous? maybe that was my fear. i wasn't righteous enough for my prayers to work. ii think i am....or do i feel blah because i pray in need. or want. never simply because. now i'm effed up and sometimes. most of the time i cannot figure out why. i get so far in that i cant even see the exit. i know where it is but it seems too far. i hope. i want. i need to GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT.

running is wack.

just let it out. just let it out. just let it out. you think if i say this to myself 5 times fast, it will become a reality? just a thought. why is it so hard to just do it? gosh those feelings of laziness come to fruition and take over and i know they shouldn't. i have to conquer all the bad to come out on top and i keep making excuses. what i did today was unthinkable...and pitable in some instances. it was actually kind of ridiculous. consquence of me running. running to evade my consequences. why though? bigger problems. all i see are more problems on the horizon. ugh. just start a new. but how? how? conquer it...

not too emo...

listening to ryan leslie...needed an outlet. looked at all these blogs and realized it has to be let out. it sounds inaudible to me but maybe it i put it in words it won't be. can i actually hear it? i'm not sure but it seems to flow through my fingertips. my intellect, confidence, thoughts, spirit seem to be located in the appendages rather than the heart. or is that where they really are? i don't know...inaudible........